Even Thieves Have Their Limits

31 Dec

My mom always mails a Christmas box to hubby and me, what with she’s in the South and we’re not.
One year, a few years ago, the good ole postal service delivered the Christmas box to us, mangled and wrapped with postal tape saying something like “damaged in transit”. Clearly the box had been opened and retaped.

The box was completely empty, except for my mom’s traditional annual fruitcake! They took everything but that!

No joke!

By the way, there are a lot of funny stories about fruitcakes on “the internets”. Here’s a good one I recently came across:

Fruitcake Recipe

1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
1 gallon whiskey

Sample the whisky to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer; beat again. Make sure whiskey is still OK. cry another tup. turn off mixer. Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on turner.

If the friud drdint gets stuck in the beaters pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts add one table Spoon. of surgar or something. whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window. check the whiskey again. Go to bed.
Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: